It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
