my mouth tastes like poor choices
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
