He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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