census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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