you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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