woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
