Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
