the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
