No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
being pregnant is like rehab
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
