Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
