i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize