Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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