birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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