with your own penis?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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