Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I can't turn off my feet"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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