i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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