i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
