So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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