Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
