I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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