I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
