In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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