It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
