Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding

Fav 13 5904 997
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(317): View more from Indiana

Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.

(614): View more from Ohio

Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money

Fav 27 7192 1868
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth

Fav 13 1899 4720
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(214): View more from Texas

New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.

Fav 33 5152 1422
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(614): View more from Ohio

i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.

Fav 3 3490 965
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

Fav 26 12175 2165
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(415): View more from California

Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.

Fav 24 5722 1410
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji

Fav 5 168 84
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(303): View more from Colorado

I don't see why I have to pay for it.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.

Fav 0 9 31
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