Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
