Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
