this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
