Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
