yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
