Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's the barista slut.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
