I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
