Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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