so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
