My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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