To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
not ubering you a puppy
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
