Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
