quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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