Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
