Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
