I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
