Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
