I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i came on her dog
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
