i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
