As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
