Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
