distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
