Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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