I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
