I'm lost and stupid without you.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
