Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
